


warm foothills

by benorganasolos



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Ben and Rey are Strangers, Chewie the dog, Christmas Fluff, Deepthroating (ish), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Giant Plaid Man Ben Solo, Holidays, Log Cabins, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Reservation Mix Up, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-15 12:35:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benorganasolos/pseuds/benorganasolos
Summary: “Packing to leave?” Rey asks, tone not coming out quite as serious as she intended. Ben pivots in socked feet toward her, already dressed in jeans and another flannel.Really, how much plaid could one man own?“About that…” he starts, and Rey immediately shifts her eyes to meet his, an eyebrow raising expectantly.“I decided not to leave.”“You decided —what?”“I’ve decided that I’m not leaving. I was here first.” He says it nonchalantly, and Rey...Rey sees red.





	1. i missed you, but i haven’t met you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Poppi Willow (Poppi_Willow)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppi_Willow/gifts).



> So, I tweeted [this](https://twitter.com/benorganasolos/status/1017913483302789120) back in July and decided to actually write it.
> 
> I'd like to dedicate this to one of my favorite people ever, [Sunni](https://twitter.com/PoppiWillow). I love you, girl ♥
> 
> Thank you to [Katie](https://twitter.com/ben69solo) for beta'ing this at 11:55pm. You are truly amazing! As is, _[Liaison](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15259803/chapters/35395593)_. If you haven't read it yet, you really should.
> 
> Title is from the song Warm Foothils by alt-J. 
> 
> Happy Holiday's everyone! & happy reading ♥

**part i** : **I missed you, but I haven’t met you**

 **track:** to whom it may concern - the civil wars

 

 

― ❄ ―

 

**_Christmas morning_ **

 

Heat low in her belly. Fluttering fingertips across her ribs. The scrape of stubble against her neck. A hot tongue swiping near her collarbone. Gentle nips to the sensitive flesh of her breasts. A tender kiss to the flat of her stomach. Hands dragging to grip the bare skin of her hips. Dark eyes reflecting up at her in the faint glow of the early morning moonlight, a question in them. She nods, breath catching in her throat when lips meet her inner thigh. Flames lick up her legs and spine, making her knees weak as she feels hot breath fan at the juncture of her thighs, prompting a tingling sensation to surge through her sex.

 

Rey is on _fire_.

 

She remembers to breathe but it comes out as a gasp when he grabs her ass, squeezing tight and causing her vision to blur and her cunt to pound with needy arousal in time with the rapid beating of her heart.

 

In a flash of movement, he brings one trembling leg over his broad shoulder — the curved wall of the log cabin is digging into her back but it’s nothing, barely registering in her mind as she cants her hips towards his awaiting mouth, willing him to please, _please_ give her what she needs so desperately. But he is just...staring up at her, eyes glazed over, mouth hanging ever so slightly open, looking flushed and annoyingly beautiful from where he kneels at her feet.

 

“I think I could love you,” his voice is gruff, but his words make her stomach flutter and her heart surge and then — _then_ his entire mouth latches onto her, and it’s not artful, the way he moves his lips against her sex. He eats her out like a man starved, keeping her gripped firmly in his hands as he mouths at her cunt, tongue dipping between her folds and dragging up, up to the raw bundle of nerves to work it tirelessly, sucking and kissing and dragging the flat of his tongue. The visual of it is enough to take her breath away, her bare pussy completely enveloped, devoured by this man’s incredible mouth.

 

Rey has been eaten out before, but Ben Solo giving head is without a doubt a religious experience. One she wants to repeat over and over again.

 

“I want to hear you,” he demands, withdrawing only to return with a gentle but electrifying scrape of his teeth against her clit that makes her cry out, the back of her head smacking against the cedar planked wall.

 

Both of his amazing hands squeeze her ass again before bringing her other leg up over his shoulder so that she is suspended, Ben between her thighs the only thing keeping her from falling.

 

She whimpers and brings one hand down to tug at his hair. He groans against her drenched opening and tears well in her eyes as a moan slips out between her clenched teeth. She grinds down against his face just as his hands grip her even harder, the sensations he is causing washing over her in wave after wave of bright, blinding pleasure.

 

And Rey...Rey never knew she could need anything quite this badly. Not until this man, this _stranger_ who entered her life just days ago. Who had made her feel _so much_ in such a short amount of time. Who is kneeling at her feet and drinking her in like she is life itself. Who said he could love her. No, she had not known need, not until this exact moment.

 

Absurdly, it is not until right before she is falling, crashing over the delicious, delicate edge that he has brought her to, the walls of her cunt spasming around the two fingers that he had slid inside of her at some point, that she finds her words. “I think I could love you too.”

 

― ❄ ―

 

**_Four days earlier_ **

 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Rey remarks to herself, struggling to catch her breath as she takes in the definitely _not_ empty rental property in front of her. It’s a log cabin, windows glowing warmly in the rapidly dimming light of the evening, with a chimney billowing smoke up through the trees.

 

She had chosen this place months ago on Airbnb, only after searching through hundreds of other rental cabins near Glacier National Park. She had chosen it _specifically_ because it was remote enough that she wouldn’t have cell service, or need to worry about other hikers interrupting her peace and quiet. It also had a fireplace _and_ a wood burning stove, not to mention a television, and that cozy looking bed in the photos. A rare find at this elevation, and she had set money aside all year to be able to afford the trip.

 

Rey has always hated this time of year, so much so that she has made it a sort of tradition to spend it isolated, safely away from everyone and their holiday cheer.

 

The place isn’t even reachable by car; she had parked her rental at the trailhead over five hours ago and had climbed well over 1,000 feet to reach her destination. _Her_ haven away from the inevitable Instagram posts of her friends with loved ones, with _family_. The holidays have always made her feel incredibly out of place among her peers.

 

It isn’t that Rey hates Christmas _—_ in fact, she loves the sense of joy and wonder that seems to turn things somehow...magic every December. It is just that she hates the sympathy invites, the loneliness that creeps in when she returns from a friends’ family party to her empty apartment, depressingly devoid of any decorations.

 

So once she had graduated and found a job in the city as a civil engineer, Rey had resolved to spend the holidays alone, in a remote location where she couldn’t ruminate over the hand life had dealt her. Instead, she would wake up on Christmas day and bake cookies and watch all of her favorite holiday movies before making all of her favorite foods, enjoying the day blissfully alone. This was meant to be her third year doing so.

 

And _someone_ is ruining that tradition.

 

In vain, she attempts to pull up the hosting information for the property on her phone, but just as she specifically planned for — there is no service. _It has to be a misunderstanding_ , Rey thinks, _maybe someone is just late checking out?_

 

She drops her pack in the snow just as the glossy wooden door of the cabin swings open, and a giant of a man lumbers out. He’s massive. _Tall_ , Rey thinks as her eyes take in his work boots, long legs in dark jeans, and a red plaid sherpa lined jacket covering his broad shoulders. She has only a fleeting moment to appreciate his strong features, dark hair, and eyes, before he must notice her presence, a deep voice ringing out in the silence. “Can I help you?”

 

He says it gently, but Rey really has to pee and is _hungry_ after the long hike up here, and she feels her hackles raise against her will. “I should be asking _you_ that.”  

 

“Excuse me?” he blinks, taking a small step _—_ well, as small a step as possible given the size of him, towards her.

 

“I reserved this place _months_ ago. Until New Years Day. I was told it would be empty on arrival.”

 

In the back of her mind, she knows maybe that she should be calmer, that it probably wasn’t his fault, but she had been _so_ looking forward to lounging around in only her robe and fuzzy socks by the fire with her books. And _he_ is ruining it.

 

“Fuck,” he says gruffly; she can see his breath in the cold air. “I’m not sure what to tell you, I’ve had this place booked for a while…”

 

“On Airbnb?” she means to ask but it comes out as more of a demand, her accent pronounced and tone incredulous.

 

“Airbnb? What the hell is that?”

 

Rey, she actually _whines_ , stomping her booted foot in the snow.

 

“They must have double booked us,” she hears him say. _No shit_.

 

“Well this is great.” His voice drips with sarcasm. “There is nothing out here for miles and it’s getting dark.”

 

He continues to talk but his words are lost to her because Rey is formulating a plan in her head, a plan that involves him packing up his things and leaving. She absolutely will not turn back, everywhere worth staying was no doubt booked up ages ago. As far as she is concerned, this is the only place left on earth where she can comfortably avoid...people. Therefore, the Giant Plaid Man has to go.

 

“Why don’t you come in and we can figure it out? You look cold.”

 

Annoyance, spurred on by her gnawing hunger and the fact that she is about to piss herself, flares at his obvious statement because of _course_ she is cold, it’s fucking freezing outside.

 

Rey takes a deep, calming breath and nods, not trusting herself to speak without insulting the man. Her heavy pack making crunching noises in the snow as she drags it behind her, following him into the structure that is charmingly nestled amongst evergreen trees as far as the eye can see.

 

She is immediately hit with a blast of warm air and her favorite smell of burning wood, the black stove radiating warmth from the corner of the decently sized living space. Her stomach growls when she picks up the scent of what is undoubtedly steak. He must have been cooking dinner.

 

“ _Ooof—”_ Rey lets out as she is suddenly rushed by a huge, russet-colored shaggy dog.

 

“Chewie you big idiot, get down!” The Giant Plaid Man barks out, a reprimanding edge to his voice.

 

The annoyance she had felt so distinctly at her current situation quickly turns to amusement, the dog’s presence making her feel slightly more at ease. “It’s okay, I’m a dog person,” Rey assures, giving Chewie a good rub behind his ears. After all, he was just happy to see her; he didn’t do anything wrong.

 

“Still, he knows better,” the man says, standing awkwardly in the low lit cabin. Chewie moves from where Rey stands to retrieve a large bone that she presumes he had left on the kitchen floor in his haste to greet her, curling up on the rug by the fireplace.

 

“Make yourself comfortable,” he says and she fights the urge to roll her eyes, kneeling to unlace her boots. Once she has finagled her way out of them, tripping slightly in the process, she glances over to where the man stands above the stove in the kitchen before making a beeline for what has to be the bathroom. It is. _Thank God_.

 

Blessedly, she relieves herself, staring at her wind-chapped cheeks in the mirror afterwards as she washes her hands, grimacing at the state of her hair when she finally takes off her knitted hat. She peels off her layers until she is down to her crewneck, fleece-lined leggings, and hiking socks.

 

Frustrated at the fact that she feels the need to fix her hair due to the presence of another human, she takes the hair tie around her wrist and throws half of it up into a bun. She gathers her discarded layers and hangs them over the clawfoot tub, where she sees he has already put his damp overcoat and snow pants. Her mood softens when she sees what can only be a coat for Chewie and four paw sized boots drying off in the tub.

 

Taking a deep breath, Rey steels herself before walking out of the restroom, fully prepared to tell him that he needed to _go,_ take his stuff, take his nice, big dog and broad shoulders down the mountain and back to wherever he came from, but stops short when she sees that he has set the table for two.

 

“I figured you might be hungry; I know I am after that hike,” he says and he is no longer in _red_ plaid, but in a navy — still _plaid_ though _—_ flannel. The sleeves are rolled up, revealing faintly tanned forearms with a dusting of dark hair. She swallows deeply, mind going blank for a moment as her eyes trace the veins on those _incredible_ hands up the length of his forearms.

 

 _Focus, Rey_.

 

“Are you?” He interrupts her inappropriate thoughts, “Hungry?

 

She clears her throat, not wanting to appear too eager when offered — she peers around the Giant Plaid Man to see the table — steak and potatoes. One of her favorites. _Fuck it._

 

“Starving, honestly,” she says, meeting his eyes for really the first time. Wow, Giant Plaid Man is really... _something_. A faint beard growing on his upper lip and chin is the first thing she notices. Then it’s his mouth, plump lips that she stares at entirely too long. A strong nose that just fits the rest of him. Then finally, his eyes, dark and soft as they stare intently into hers. He has a face that she thinks she could look at forever and never tire of.

 

“Eat,” he says, gesturing for her to sit as she tears her eyes away from his face. “You’re my guest.”

 

Rey grinds her teeth at that, wanting to quip back a few rather choice expletives because this place was supposed to be _hers_ for the next ten days, meaning that she is definitely _not_ his guest.  

 

But Rey knows what is good for her, and that is food. So she stays quiet and does as he says, cutting into her steak as he sinks into the chair across from her. Her eyes actually flutter shut at how savory and tender the meat is, and she curses herself for the hundredth time that day for not eating a bigger breakfast.

 

“I’m Ben,” the Giant Plaid Man says, staring at her as she inhales the mashed potatoes. _Did he really haul potatoes up here?_ Regardless _,_ she is thankful he did.

 

“Rey,” she says, not bothering to swallow before answering or look up to meet his annoyingly smoldering gaze, deciding to stare at his hands again instead. It couldn’t hurt.

 

“Are you from England?”

 

“Originally,” she answers, “I moved here as a kid.”

 

He abruptly stands, opening the fridge and pulling out two beers. Did he haul _beer_ up here? Rey had struggled enough with the food she packed, couldn’t imagine adding even a six pack to it, let alone an entire sack of potatoes. He twists the bottle caps off of each and hands her one; she accepts it gratefully, thankful for the warm feeling that immediately spreads in her stomach as she drinks.

 

Feeling decidedly less hangry, she asks, “how about you?”

 

“I’m from California,” and she almost doesn’t believe him, but then maybe he is from Northern California? Like Yosemite area? He looks like he could belong there maybe, amongst the jutting, carved out cliffs and rolling hills. She had gone last year at this time, renting a place similar to the one they were in now.

 

“I work in Chicago now, though; I don’t mind it much but I miss the mountains.”

 

“Chicago?” Rey sputters out, coughing as the beer slides down the wrong tube in her throat.

 

“I just bought in Lincoln Park,” he explains, “I like the old trees.”

 

No way. No fucking way. “You’re kidding. I rent a place in Wicker.”

 

His eyes widen in genuine surprise. “What are the odds that we both end up booking the same cabin...in Montana of all places?”

 

She can’t tell if he is amused, annoyed or both. But she finds herself at a loss for words at the oddity of their current situation, so she decides to finish the meal he had so graciously offered her silently before kicking him out.

 

Rey does the dishes, him muttering something under his breath about getting a fire going before disappearing out the front door. She _hates_ doing dishes but figures it is the least she can do after he made her food— she _is_ going to tell him to get lost, after all. As soon as he comes back inside.

 

He does, and she shivers at the gust of icy wind that he brings in with the stack of wood that he carries. Once she finishes washing the last pan, she wipes her hands on her leggings and drags her pack to the kitchen, putting away all of the food she had brought with her.

 

“Listen.” His deep voice startles her and _Ben_ is suddenly looming over her, peering down at her where she crouches in front of the fridge. “Neither of us are going anywhere tonight. It’s too dark and remote, plus we’d likely die of hypothermia. You can take the bedroom, Chewie and I will take this floor. I can sleep on the couch.”

 

Rey narrows her eyes at the idea of him staying and he raises his hands in defense. “I swear, I’m not an axe murderer, I just came here to get away from…” his voice trails off.

 

Rey feels her heart soften at his expression and finishes his sentence, “people?”

 

He nods, dark eyes flashing in recognition, as if he is surprised to find that they are out here for similar reasons. “You too?”

 

“The holidays,” she explains, suddenly feeling exhausted. She can always kick him out tomorrow, she supposes.

 

He leaves her to unpack the rest of her items, wandering up the stairs and out of sight.

 

― ❄ ―

 

**_Three days before Christmas_ **

 

Rey opens her eyes to incredibly bright light streaming through the windows, sitting up in the large bed she had slept like the dead in, she looks out the window and feels the deep-seated calm that only comes when she’s looking out at snow-capped mountain peaks and endless evergreen trees. Despite the rough — although decidedly not entirely unpleasant — first night of her trip, she is thankful to be here. In _God’s country._

 

Allowing herself a sleepy smile and a few more moments just staring out at the breathtaking view, she pulls herself out of bed. She had brought several outfits, but they were all comfy clothes, not meant to be worn in the presence of the man she can hear moving around downstairs.

 

So, she makes her way down to confront him in the same crewneck and socks she had been in the night before — and sleep shorts, one sleeping habit she could not break no matter how cold it got outside.

 

“Packing to leave?” Rey asks, tone not coming out quite as serious as she intended. Ben pivots in socked feet toward her, already dressed in jeans and another flannel. _Really, how much plaid could one man own?_

 

“About that…” he starts, and Rey immediately shifts her eyes to meet his, an eyebrow raising expectantly.

 

“I decided not to leave.”

 

“You decided — _what?_ ”

 

“I’ve decided that I’m not leaving. I was here first.” He says it nonchalantly, and Rey...Rey sees red.

 

“Here _first?”_ she repeats incredulously, “are you _five?!_ ”

 

“So, you can leave—”

 

“Oh, I am _not_ leaving.” At some point, Rey had started walking toward him, and she has to crane her neck to meet his infuriatingly calm gaze.“ _You’re_ leaving,” she says, her hand raising, pointer finger jabbing into his rock hard chest as she speaks, “so get your admittedly nice, huge dog, and take your _gigantic_ plaid wearing self down the mountain right this second or I’ll—”

 

“You’ll _what?_ ” he says, tone turning sharp as he stares down at her.

 

“I’ll — I’ll...” Rey doesn’t know _what,_ not yet.

 

“You _have_ to go. I’m the girl.” She knows it’s stupid, would literally never say it otherwise, but it’s all she can think of, and he is making her so _angry_.

 

His warm hand suddenly wraps around her own, effectively ending her prodding and making her cheeks flame. His tone comes out cutting, “I guess chivalry is dead, because I’m staying. Right. Here.”

 

They hold each other's stare and Rey internally refuses to be the first one to blink, their faces mere inches apart and his hand still gripping hers tightly. His gaze is heated until it isn’t anymore, and finally, he blinks down at her.

 

“ _Ha!”_ she exclaims, raising her free hand and pointing up at him. “You blinked! I win.”

 

“Who is _five_ now?” He asks, the ghost of a smirk playing at the edges of his lips. Rey will probably be embarrassed later, but she doesn’t have the capacity in her current riled state.

 

“But...” She will not lug all of her stuff back down and drive to some depressing, touristy hotel filled with rich families on holiday ski trips. The thought alone causes her heart to sink. She deserves these ten days, it was all she looked forward to practically all _year_.

 

She thinks Ben notices the change in her mood, because his grip on her hand tightens slightly and his other hand comes up, barely brushing against the underside of her chin until she is meeting his gaze again. Something inside of her melts, her heart fluttering at the incredibly intimate, yet simple gesture.

 

“If you’d let me finish,” he starts, and his eyes are sincere, amber and warm and she is maybe a little lost in them, “I was going to say we can _both_ stay.” He then lets his hands drop, stepping away from her, the added proximity giving her some clarity. But only _some_.

 

 _Oh._ Rey is blushing now. “How will that work?”

 

“Worked well enough last night,” he grunts out, shrugging. When she says nothing in response he sighs.

 

“Rey, I’m a simple man. I might read a few books, watch some movies, take my dog out hiking. Fuck, I’ll probably be napping most of the time anyway. But if I get in your way, just tell me and I’ll make myself scarce.”

 

She can’t quite believe _that_ , given his size. But she thinks, maybe...that this will work. Yes, it could work. She would just go about her days as she would have if she had been alone, but with the added security of another person in the remote cabin. Plus, said person’s giant dog.

 

 _There could be wild bears_ , she reasons, _or mountain lions._

 

Taking a deep breath, she nods her head. “So we are _both_ staying, then.”

 

“That okay?”

 

She nods again.

 

“Okay,” he says softly. And that is that.

 

― ❄ ―

 

Rey has to admit, it hasn’t been that bad. Ben is quiet, and besides, he had left with Chewie after wordlessly handing her a sandwich where she lounged on the couch watching _Home Alone 2,_ one of the many DVD’s she had brought with her. She is now on _Home Alone 4_ and her eyes are slowly but surely drifting shut.

 

She jumps, minutes or hours later, when she hears the door open. A snowy Chewie bounds in to greet her, still in his coat and little boots. “Hi, puppy,” she greets him warmly and sleepily with a few good pats as he pants and wags his tail, happy to see her.

 

“Ah, shit. Sorry for waking you,” Ben says.. She hears stomping, probably getting the snow off his boots, and then rustling as he no doubt sheds his layers. She sits up, her eyes immediately moving over his form before landing on...a tree, in the cabin.

 

“What’s that for?”

 

“It’s a tree, for Christmas.”

 

 _Duh._ “I get that but...is there, are there ornaments?” she asks, rubbing the sleep out her eyes.

 

“I saw some, in the back storage room. I was looking for extra blankets and found a box full of decorations.”

 

Excitement stirs in her gut at the prospect of decorating a _real_ tree, something she had never bothered to do before. But that would be weird. Ben probably has his own tradition of doing it alone, and as much as the idea warms her, she doesn’t want to impose—

 

“Do you want to maybe—”

 

“Yeah, I’ll head up to the room,” she interrupts, abruptly standing, knowing he is probably going to ask her for his own space.

 

Before she can turn, however: “Rey,” his voice calls out, stopping her in her tracks, “do you want to help decorate?”

 

When she doesn't respond right away he adds, “I have whiskey.”

 

Whiskey and decorating a Christmas tree sounds...well, it sounds amazing.

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

 

“Not at all,” he says, moving to the kitchen. “I actually don’t have too much experience doing this sort of thing; my mom’s side is Jewish, so—”

 

“Oh, really? So you got to celebrate eight days in a row growing up?”

 

“Something like that,” he says, a trace of bitterness in his tone. “I lived with my uncle after a while so...When I was home, my dad, he always loved Christmas. One year we got a tree.”

 

She feels a pang of sympathy at his tone of voice and decides then and there that she wants to know more about him. How he grew up, what his family is like, what his life is like now. What made him want to come all the way to _Montana_ for the holidays.

 

― ❄ ―

 

Rey feels warm all over, due in part to the bottle of whiskey they’d been taking swigs out of, but also because the tree is—

 

“Awesome,” Ben takes the words right out of her mouth. She laughs, giddy as they stand back and stare at their not-so-hard work. They had lined the tree with golden, twinkling lights and a variety of basic ornaments. Rey’s favorite part about the tree is the ancient popcorn garland.

 

“I still am craving popcorn,” she says, mouth watering at the thought.

 

“How probably 30-year old popcorn could make you _crave_ popcorn I do not understand.”

 

She sighs wistfully and laughs when he actually moves to the kitchen, searching through the cupboards, until he pulls a packet out.

 

“Is there popcorn!?”

 

“There is actually popcorn,” he responds, sounding both surprised and amused. In her tipsy state, she decides that her goal of the night is to get him to smile. She has yet to succeed.

 

“Hey, you don’t have to keep making me food.” He had made her another sandwich just before they had started decorating the tree. But it’s not like Rey is going to say no to food.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” he scoffs, “I was here first, so _technically_ you’re still my guest.”

 

She rolls her eyes. If someone else were within miles of them, she would bet them twenty dollars that he was smirking.

 

― ❄ ―  

 

They stay up, late into the night, playing scrabble and talking. She is shocked to discover that he is an aerospace engineer, and they talk shop for a while until the conversation shifts into more personal territory.

 

“I never had a family-- well, I don’t remember them if I did. Spending the holidays alone is just easier,” she starts, eyes shifting from her letters that currently read _W X Q Y_ (there is no way she is going to win, although she thinks it is okay because she _had_ beaten him earlier after arguing that _quizzify_ is definitely, in fact, a word) to stare into the crackling fire.

 

“Hey,” he says seriously, and her eyes shift to meet his. “You’re not alone.”

 

Her heart beats in her throat, and without even thinking much about it at all, she responds, “neither are you.”

 

― ❄ ―

 

They decide to watch a movie, but it turns into Chewie cuddling up with Rey on the couch and Ben stretched out in the leather recliner, them playing Truth or Dare whilst passing the bottle back and forth.

 

“Okay, _truth_ ,” Ben huffs out, exasperated after she told him he wasn’t allowed to pick dare. Ever. It wasn’t how adults played this game.

 

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

 

She watches his face, noting the way his eyes shift to stare at her lazily, the heat of the fire reflected in them as _Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone_ plays on the television.

 

“I’ll take the drink,” he finally says.

 

“Not fair! You have to answer,” Rey exclaims, gripping the bottle of whiskey in her hands and positioning herself away from him. It’s a simple question, really.

 

He hums, eyes suddenly glowing with mirth and his jaw working, something that he seems to do a lot. Something that Rey finds very, very attractive.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he says, so sincerely that Rey’s heart skips a beat, his comment sobering her up a bit, enough for her to blush and look away.

 

She doesn’t ask any more questions like that for the rest of the game.

 


	2. i hope you come where i’m going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you forever to the best beta, [Katie](https://twitter.com/ben69solo). You all should read [_Liaison_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15259803/chapters/35395593) bc...it is incredible and my favorite Kylo characterization EVER. Hands down. 
> 
> I'd also like to thank [Caroline](https://twitter.com/adamnsdrivers) for always being so encouraging and reassuring me that this isn't the bad kind of trash. I love you.

**part ii: i hope you come where i’m going**

**track:** feeling you - harrison storm

 

 

― ❄ ―

 

**_Two Days Before Christmas_ **

 

Rey wakes up to the sound of wind. The kind of wind that echoes and whistles, signaling a change in the atmosphere.

 

She stretches, lifting her arms above her head in the large bed and turning her head to look outside. Sure enough, the tops of the evergreen trees are slightly bent, billowing under the weight of the oncoming storm.

 

Instead of being nervous at the idea of a snowstorm, the thought of it almost calms her, giving her a sense of security at a time when she is so used to feeling vulnerable. Christmas has always been difficult, but she thinks that maybe this year will be… different.

 

She lays in bed for a few moments longer, letting her thoughts wander to the man who she assumes is still asleep downstairs. He had called her beautiful— and so sincerely, like he _really_ meant it. Rey likes the way he says things, and she likes the way he listens to her, like she holds all of his attention.

 

They had drank a fair amount together but had ended the night with glasses of iced water, wishing each other goodnight. She had considered, for a moment, inviting him up to the bedroom but had thought better of it. _You’ve only known him for a day and a half,_ she had told herself. _You can’t fall into bed with every man who calls you beautiful._

 

Rey sighs, thinking that Ben really isn’t like any other man she has ever been with. _Fuck_ , she thinks, _what if he has a girlfriend?_ He can’t look like that, have such a cute dog, and not have someone back home waiting. But then, why is he all the way out here for the two weeks of the year people spend celebrating with loved ones? He _is_ ten years older than her, and he hadn’t mentioned anyone. _Maybe he’s divorced?_

 

She groans, pulling herself out of bed and out of her jealous thought spiral. Grabbing her toiletries bag, she quietly makes her way down the stairs and to the bathroom, creeping by the couch where she can hear Ben breathing deeply in sleep. She wants to shower before the impending snowstorm hits, aware that there is always a possibility of a power outage; she might as well do it now while the water is guaranteed to be hot.

 

Rey showers quickly, scrubbing her body and taking care to shave everywhere, telling herself that it’s _only_ because she doesn’t know when she will get the chance again, not because she has definitely developed a _thing_ for the man sleeping soundly on the couch just outside the bathroom door. She steps out of the tub, toweling off and walking over to the fogged up window. Wiping the steam off with her hand, she sees that it has already begun to snow, and finds herself smiling faintly at the sight.

 

Wrapping the fluffy pink towel around her body, she pauses, listening for any out of place noises signaling that Ben could be up and hearing nothing, she turns the doorknob. Stepping out into the living space only to turn and smack right into a whole lot of warm, hard, _definitely_ _bare,_ skin.

 

“Oh—“

 

“Sorry! I didn’t hear you—

 

“—I thought you were still sleeping.”

 

“No— I,” Rey takes care to fasten her towel tighter around her body, “—think it’s going to storm, so I wanted to shower.”

 

“I see,” he says quietly, looking slightly down at her from where he stands. Her face flames as she takes in his half-dressed state; his broad chest and bare arms make her brain short circuit, and she allows herself a brief peek down the hard planes of his stomach to glance at sweatpants that hang low on his hips before clearing her throat and averting her eyes.

 

“You should shower too, while the water’s hot.”

 

He hums, and when she looks back up at his face she catches him staring at her mouth. _Fuck_.

 

“Rey?”

 

“Yes?” There is a long pause, and she might be seeing things but _is he blushing?_  

 

“You’re blocking the door.”

 

 _Oh_. “Right. Excuse me,” she says, maneuvering around him to walk up the stairs and put on some clothes, cursing herself the entire way up for not just jumping him right then and there.

 

― ❄ ―

 

After a quiet morning spent eating breakfast and dancing around each other, a clean-shaven, younger looking Ben breaks the silence. “Want to go on a short hike?”

 

Her curiosity surrounding Ben has almost become a living thing inside her, something she feels the need to feed in order to keep her sanity while in his proximity. Rey doesn’t really want to go, but if it means more opportunity to get him to talk then she will gladly brave the current conditions.

 

That’s how they wind up at an overlook of Hidden Lake. They had hiked together in almost silence, a certain tension having developed between them since the night before coupled with their awkward, half dressed morning encounter.

 

The snow falls steadily, not quite yet the storm she knows is coming. It paints a breathtaking picture; the deep blues of the mountain peaks towering above the slightly frozen lake, all against the swirling grey sky. Rey takes a moment to breathe it all in, staring out at the view and marveling at how beautiful it is to just exist in this time and place.

 

“I came across this yesterday when Chewie and I came out,” Ben explains as he turns his gaze to her, his dark hair and eyes a stark contrast to the white surrounding them. “I thought you might like to see it too.”

 

She feels herself smiling, cementing this moment in her memory as one she will never forget.

 

― ❄ ―

 

“Can I ask you something?” They are on their way back to the cabin, the snowfall steadily increasing around them as they retrace their steps.

 

“More truths?” She whacks him lightly with her pitiful, coat-covered arm and he acquiesces, “okay, sure.”

 

“Are you… are you divorced?”

 

He stops abruptly, and Chewie, who had been trotting ahead in the snow, turns and runs back to stand beside Ben, barking up at him a few times as if to ask why they have stopped. “What makes you say that?”

 

“I — I don’t know, it’s just… weird that you’re out here all alone.”

 

“You’re out here all alone.”

 

“ _I_ haven't been _divorced_ ,” she says and _oh_ , what is that look he is giving her?

 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” he argues, expression dumbfounded.

 

“So you _have_ been divorced?”

 

“Dammit, Rey,” he sighs exasperatedly. “No. I haven’t.”

 

“Married?”

 

“No.”

 

“Girlfriend?” Is she imagining it or did he just step closer to her?

 

“No.”

 

“...boyfriend?” She asks. He is definitely closer, she can feel it in how her neck is now aching from having to look up at him.

 

“No.” His gloved hand is now unwrapping her scarf, his fingers brushing against the newly exposed skin of her neck and jaw— her heartbeat slamming in her throat. “Anything else you want to know?” He reaches up to cradle her chin; she can see his breath in the cold air. _This is it_ , she thinks, _he is going to kiss me._ She shakes her head.

 

“No?” he asks, standing up straighter and moving as if to step away from her.

 

“No more questions, but yes please kiss me,” she rushes out in response. He laughs, a light, genuine smile softening his features, and she only has a second to take in how beautiful he looks to her at that moment before his lips are on hers. He’s cold, but his tongue is hot and lights a fire at the base of her spine when he swipes it along the seam of her lips, getting her to open to him. It isn’t long before her knees go weak, and his strong and sturdy arm wraps around her waist, pulling her body flush against his as they kiss. The snow falls quietly around them.

 

He is the first to pull away, but she follows him, dropping kisses on his chin, both cheeks and nose before he catches her lips with his again.

 

When they are out of breath, he lets her slide down his body, her arms around his neck pulling his forehead down to rest against hers.

 

“You’re not going to tell me you’re married, right?” He asks, half seriously in between breaths.

 

She laughs, feeling the happiest she’s felt in a long time. “Of course not.”

 

“Thank God.”

 

― ❄ ―

 

Ben is careful with her, in a way that makes her want to cry if she thinks too hard about it, because no one has ever acted this way with her before. He watches her as she moves in his space, warmth in his gaze. He has trouble keeping his hands off of her, but it is in a respectful, almost cherishing way that he touches her― a warm palm on her shoulder or the small of her back, almost as if he has to put his hands on her to make sure she is real.

 

They had spent the last few hours preparing extra food in the event that the power fails. Rey had started in the kitchen while Ben and Chewie had gone to haul more wood inside. Once they were finished Ben had joined her, his face flushed red and eyes soft.

 

He had moved into her space, somewhat awkwardly coming up beside her and asking how he could help. She had directed him to chop up vegetables for the stew, and they now stand side by side, him washing the dishes and her drying them.

 

“This is the last dish,” he says and she nods at his obvious statement. “Are you hungry?”

 

 _Not for food._ “Not yet…” she looks up at him expectantly, curious as to what he will suggest next.

 

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

 

― ❄ ―

 

Rey isn’t sure what happened between when he had been kissing her like he never wanted to stop outside in the snow to now, with him sitting much too far away from her on the opposite side of the couch, but she’d like to figure out a way to change it. As soon as possible.

 

She stretches, knowing that her long sleeved shirt probably shows a bit of her midriff as she does so. “My neck hurts,” she complains, dropping a hand to rub at it and glancing at Ben. He’s in a dark red unbuttoned flannel, a black T-shirt underneath, and those sweatpants from this morning. He looks too big for the couch, body sunk low into the cushions and feet hanging over to rest on the wooden coffee table, her gaze lingering on his chest and abdomen under the taught fabric of his shirt.

 

“Let me help,” he says, voice definitely an octave lower than usual. Sitting up, he motions for her to come closer before instructing her to kneel on the cushion directly next to him. Then his hand is on her neck, kneading and rubbing her sore muscles with just the right amount of pressure.

 

“Fuck,” she says out loud, leaning into his touch.

 

“Good?”

 

She hums, her whole body melting at the sensations he elicits. He continues working on her neck, his fingers occasionally dipping down to squeeze her shoulders.

 

When she lets out a soft whimper he brings his hand even lower, his thumb pushing and kneading the area just above the strap of her bra. His hand teases her further as he gently runs the pads of his fingers up and down her spine in a way that makes her shiver.

 

Then his fingertips trail low towards her waist, reaching under her shirt to span across her back. Rey relishes in the tingling sensations his ministrations are causing throughout her entire body, and distinctly within her sex, at the way he softly strokes the bare skin of her back.

 

 _The Chamber Of Secrets_ blares throughout the room. The only other sounds are the crackling coming from the fireplace and Rey’s somewhat stilted breathing as he moves to run his fingertips along the edges of her bra strap.

 

“This won’t do,” he chuffs, bringing his other hand up and underneath her shirt to unclasp her bra. Rey’s sex is positively pounding now, her face on fire as she holds in a moan when both of his amazing hands stroke the length of her now bare back under her shirt. She is two seconds away from reaching between her legs to relieve some of the pressure down there when he does it again, this time his fingers coming tantalizingly close to the sides of her breasts as his thumbs rub circles in the muscles that line her spine, moving all the way down her back until he has her hips in his strong grip.

 

When she feels his lips on her neck, she lets her head fall back against his shoulder, his fingers rubbing small circles at the waistband of her leggings. He trails kisses up the side of her throat until she can feel his hot breath near her ear. “Take the straps off,” he orders gently, causing her stomach to flutter in anticipation. She moves to slide the straps down each of her arms under her shirt, his hands still driving her crazy in their grip on her hips.

 

Ben’s hand then moves from her waist to reach under and up the front of her shirt, pushing her back against him and causing a thrill of arousal to shoot up from her core when he removes her bra, her now freed breasts aching in need of his touch. “Better?” He asks, his fingers moving alluringly back and forth underneath her belly button and up around her ribs.

 

She nods, gasping when he lifts her up and against him. Her skin suddenly becoming hot all over when she feels how hard he is against her backside. He kisses her again, lips warm at the curve of her neck and up, under her ear, against her cheek, and at her temple.

 

She lets out a stuttering breath when he maneuvers them so that they are both laying down, her back to his front, his arm slung around her waist and hand reaching up to linger at the skin covering her ribs, just grazing the undersides of her breasts.

 

Rey can still feel how hard he is, but he doesn’t move to kiss her again or to relieve the ache that he is one-hundred percent responsible for between her legs. He just… watches the movie, occasionally stroking the skin of her stomach, fingertips leaving featherlight touches that are driving her wild.

 

The movie is almost over, Rey frustratingly aroused, when her stomach growls loudly — something that pauses Ben’s teasing fingers. She hisses when he suddenly pinches her nipple, causing her to turn in his arms and capture his lips in a heated kiss.

 

Blessedly, his hand now can’t seem to get enough of her breast, with the way he is massaging it in his grip as he rolls on top of her. With how worked up she is, she can’t help but think that she could come just from this.

 

“Really?” he asks, and she has a moment to realize that she had spoken the words out loud before his lips are on hers again, his knee sliding between her legs as he trails kisses down her neck to mouth at her breasts through the fabric of her shirt.

 

“Off,” he demands, pulling away from her, his eyes burning as he tugs at the bottom of the offending garment. She sits up, whimpering slightly at the feel of his knee pushing firmly between her thighs as she slides the article of clothing over her head. He wastes no time at all in sinking down and taking her left nipple into his mouth, his teeth scraping against the already over sensitive flesh and coaxing a moan from her throat.

 

He covers her breasts with kisses, massaging them with his hands in between plucking at them with his lips and teeth. Rey can’t help but writhe in pleasure, pinned as she is beneath him, her panties now soaked and leggings damp as he slowly drives her insane with his determined ministrations.

 

“ _Ben,”_ Rey whimpers, as he pushes his knee between her thighs even more firmly, swirling his tongue around one nipple and gently squeezing the other as she feels the walls of her cunt flutter in her orgasm, her hips stuttering in their little thrusts against him — her chest rising and falling rapidly as her breathing crests with her pleasure. He watches her face when she comes, eyes as intense as ever and expression amazed, almost disbelieving as she stares dazedly up at him.

 

His face is flushed, lips wet as they place another gentle kiss on her lips before pulling back again. “You really are beautiful.”

 

She smiles up at him, blushing harder and wondering where he has been her entire life.

 

― ❄ ―

 

“Then it was Maz’s for me, and that’s where I met Finn. My oldest friend,” Rey explains, finishing the long story of how she had gotten her last name.

 

Ben’s gaze is warm as he stares at her from across the dinner table, she had attempted to run up the stairs while still topless to grab a sweatshirt after what they had done on the couch, but he had grabbed her before she reached the third step — pulling her to him and breathing into her hair that she could wear something of his. That he didn’t want her out of his sight just yet.

 

That was how she wound up in his flannel, the top two buttons undone enough to see one of the marks he had left on her chest.

 

“Sorry if I’m boring you,” she says shyly, knowing she has a tendency to ramble when she talks about the only two people that she really considers family.

 

“I like hearing about your life,” he says, always so serious — almost as if he is offended at the idea that he could ever be bored of her.

 

― ❄ ―

 

“The last TV show you finished?” she asks him, the wind is rattling the large window at the far side of the room — the fireplace and the lights on the Christmas tree casting a dim, golden glow in the room as they play Rummy, both sitting on throw pillows on opposite sides of the coffee table.

 

“I think it was _Breaking Bad_? I’m terrible at keeping up with TV.”

 

“That did end a while back,” she reasons, picking up the entire deck despite the look that he gives her, “but it’s a really good show, so I’ll give you that.”

 

She goes out on her next turn, much to his disbelief. “I was saving this Ace,” he complains, deducting that and the other 4 cards in his hand from his overall score.

 

“I figured you had it, hence waiting to lay down my three until I knew I’d go out.”

 

“That’s… _evil_.”

 

She smiles to herself as she counts her winning cards. “That’s the game.”

 

― ❄ ―

 

They play late into the night, taking breaks to peer outside where the snow is still coming down heavily.

 

“Looks like we’re definitely going to have a white Christmas.”

 

― ❄ ―

 

Rey is slowly but surely falling asleep cuddled up against Ben on the couch, _Prisoner of Azkaban_ playing on the television as her eyes drift shut. He holds her tightly, but watches the movie aptly, revealing when she questions him that he had never seen any of the films.

 

 _He smells so good_ , she thinks; finally turning in his arms to bury her face in his chest. He pulls her closer, tucking the thick blanket around them both and pushing his hand up through his flannel to stroke the bare skin of her back with his fingertips.

 

She thinks he says something to her, in those moments right before sleep takes her, something about sweetheart and dreams— but she is lost, warmth spreading from her chest as darkness takes her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the spirit of giving, this amazing fandom has created a [gofundme](https://www.gofundme.com/trixieendoflife) for Sunni's mom, who recently reached the end of a long and courageous battle with cancer. Do donate if you can ♥


	3. capture all the wonder here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a day late ... but merry christmas & happy holidays everyone!
> 
> & thank you to [Katie](https://twitter.com/ben69solo) for beta'ing ♥ & to [Sunni](https://twitter.com/PoppiWillow) for suggesting some fun smut for these two... oh yes... tags have been updated....

**part iii: capture all the wonder here**

**track:** wake the earth - the honey trees

//

_You hold fire in the night_

_In safety of this radiant light_

_We'll warm our lungs and tame our eyes_

_Oh dear the slumbering dark will rise_

 

 

― ❄ ―

 

**_Christmas Eve_ **

 

She wakes up incredibly warm, smushed between the couch and Ben— his leg pushed between hers and his arms slung around her body. She’s not sure how they’ve both slept so soundly on the couch, given that it’s not _that_ big and Ben himself is huge, but they just seem to fit together. She notices rather groggily that his hardness is pushed up against her stomach. Having gotten an idea of his size the night before, she can really gauge it now— long, thick and hard as he feels at this angle.

 

Suddenly noticing a distinct, panging emptiness between her legs, she sighs, wondering what made him not want to take things further the night before. She _would_ have gone further, and she thinks he knows that, but he hadn’t even tried to get himself off. It almost makes her uneasy, thinking maybe that she should have offered something in return—

 

“Rey.” Ben’s voice is gravelly and deep this early in the morning. “I can practically hear you thinking.”

 

She sighs, face flushing and hand snaking to loop around his waist, “I was wondering why you hadn’t taken things further last night,” she says, sounding embarrassed and burrowing into his broad chest. He smells like heaven — like pine and leather and burning wood — she wants to inhale him.

 

“I’d like to take my time with you,” he explains, her heart stuttering in her chest when he pulls her up to place a chaste kiss on her lips, “and I’d like it if I could come inside of you, that first time,” her heart is thundering now, her entire body pulsing at the eroticism of his words, “and I don’t think you’re ready for that— not yet.”

 

Rey can’t help it, she whimpers, grinding herself against him, seeking the relief she knows he is willing to at least give her — despite withholding it from himself.

 

He makes her come, working at her, his hand gripping her over her leggings as he tells her how pretty she is, how sweet her lips taste and how deeply he wants to be buried inside of her.

 

― ❄ ―

 

They still have power, but the lights are flickering on and off here and there, so Rey jumps at the chance of having a shower. Standing under the blessedly steaming spray, she can’t help but remember his words, all of them really, but mainly the ones from that morning:

 

_I’d like it if I could come inside of you._

 

 _Fuck_ ― just thinking about it makes her stomach flutter, a tanging surge of need pooling and gathering steadily in her core. What he said― it isn’t something that Rey had ever thought would turn her on quite as much as it did. But here she is, snaking her hand between her legs to get some relief from the seemingly ever-present urge that Ben has put there.  

 

 _It’s been three days,_ Rey tells herself as she shampoos her hair after she has rubbed herself to completion. _Get ahold of yourself._

 

― ❄ ―

 

The storm is getting worse.

 

Rey had taken Chewie out the front door while Ben had been in the shower, just to see what it looked like outside― only to return rather quickly when the wind had frozen her dampened hair and whipping snow had stung her cheeks.

 

When she and Chewie had come back inside, she made her way straight to the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients she had packed and baking utensils from the cupboards― not wanting one of her only Christmas traditions to be ruined by the impending power outage.

 

Chewie lounges by the wood burning stove, head resting on his paws as he watches her preheat the oven and measure out sugar and flour, attempting to be organized given the relatively limited counter space.

 

Ben eventually lumbers into the kitchen, looking comfortable and absolutely _edible_ in another flannel, flooding Rey with warmth when he drops a kiss on her forehead. She wants to climb him like a tree, wrap her arms and legs around him and never come back down.

 

He calls for Chewie to follow him outside, bringing more wood to add to the shelves that line one wall of the cabin. Rey ignores his presence as best she can, calmly focused on her goal of baking her favorite cookies, laughing to herself when she hears him start the fourth _Harry Potter_ movie on the television from the living room.

 

― ❄ ―  

 

By the time the power actually goes out, Rey has made three batches of Christmas cookies and Ben is in the middle of _Order of the Phoenix_. She had joined him, briefly, to eat some of the food they had prepared the day prior for lunch, and then had made her way back into the kitchen to complete her task.

 

She sighs, knowing it had been inevitable and thankful that Ben was here to help prepare for not having any electricity for the foreseeable future. Usually, these things only lasted as long as the snow, but it would have been difficult getting all that wood inside if she had been on her own.

 

She grabs two of the cookies, making her way over to where he lounges in the reclining leather chair by the fireplace.

 

He accepts one of the cookies she holds out to him, pulling her to him until she is sitting on his lap.

 

“Will you tell me more about your childhood?” she asks, tucking her head under his chin after they have both finished their cookies.

 

They sit and watch the fire as he tells her how he grew up, with parents who fought and were often absent at a time when he was too young to do anything other than blame himself— how they had spoken about him as if he weren’t there, afraid of his childish impulsive behavior and opting to send him to live with his uncle, making a lonely child feel even more unwanted— _abandoned_.

 

Rey lets him talk without interrupting— finding comfort in the steady rumble of his voice under her cheek, her heart breaking for the little boy Ben was and the things he had done as a man.

 

“I wish we had met sooner,” Rey says, her voice cracking and betraying the fact that she has been crying for a few minutes now.

 

“Hey,” Ben says, gently shifting her in his arms so he can see her, “don’t cry.” He attempts to wipe away her tears with his thumbs, cradling her face in his hands. “I don’t deserve it. I’ve made some terrible decisions in the past.”

 

He had told her about those too, the crime and corruption— the manipulative bastard of a boss who had taken advantage of him for so long that it had made him ultimately turn back to his parents for help, which was how he wound up in Chicago, working for his uncle and attempting to mend several broken relationships.

 

No matter how hard she tries, the tears won’t stop, and he looks at her like he is a little lost for a moment before kissing her quietly and carrying her up the stairs to bed.  

 

He gets under the covers with her, Chewie following and laying at the foot of the large bed. Ben holds her until she stops crying, stroking her hair and telling her all of the things he wants to do with her when they get back to the city, the afternoon light quickly shifting into the seemingly endless darkness that evening in winter brings.

 

Right before Rey drifts into sleep, she speaks: “I think I’ve been missing you my entire life.”

 

He holds her tighter, his fingers splaying across the bare skin of her back under her sweatshirt. “You don’t have to wait any longer, sweetheart,” she feels his lips against her forehead, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

― ❄ ―

 

Rey wakes up before Ben and spends probably way too much time just...staring at him, tracing the line of his nose and the pout of his mouth with her sleepy gaze. She could look at him forever, but— she really has to pee.

 

So, she untangles herself from him, wondering how long they had slept, and if it was already Christmas. She smiles when Chewie merely lifts his head to watch her exit the bedroom — making her way down the stairs in the darkness.

 

Grabbing her powered off phone that had been on the table since her arrival, she makes her way to the bathroom and sits on the cold toilet. When the screen flashes white and shows her the time she learns that it’s not Christmas yet — but it’s close, 11:48pm.

 

Stripping out of the clothes she had slept in, she grabs Ben’s green flannel that is hanging on the back of the bathroom door and puts it on. It smells like him — that spiced pine scent she loves so much. She scrubs her face clean and brushes her teeth with ice cold water before making her way out into the kitchen to add some logs to the wood burning stove, shivering slightly at the feeling of the chilled wooden floors beneath her bare feet.

 

It’s dark outside but she can make out snowfall through the window above the kitchen sink. She moves to get a closer look, longing for that feeling of calm looking out into a snowstorm can bring. Her thoughts wander to the man currently asleep upstairs as she stares out into the Montana night sky, to what he had said that very morning, that she _wasn’t ready for_ that _yet._

 

Rey begs to differ.

 

She wants him, badly. So much so that it feels like she’s vibrating within her own skin, body aching for his touch and to learn how it feels to have him inside of her. To truly know him in the most primal way possible.

 

It’s just then that the subject of her thoughts comes up behind her, crowding her against the sink with his massive frame, prompting warmth to spread from her stomach outwards. His lips move against her neck as he squeezes her in a light hug, “Merry Christmas.”

 

She smiles, her heartbeat picking up in her chest when he slides his hand under the flannel that she wears to grip her ribs. He holds her so well, better than anyone ever has, making her feel safe and cared for.

 

“Do you want your present now or later?” He asks, his hand reaching up to palm her left breast, his fingers reaching well past her collarbone.

 

“That depends,” Rey replies, shifting her weight to attempt to alleviate the ache that has persisted between her thighs, “will it be an even exchange of gifts?” She leans back against him, noting his hardness against her back — her resolve strengthens.

 

Ben’s breath fans at her neck on his exhale before she feels him gently bite the skin at the curve of her shoulder, making her toes curl against the kitchen mat beneath her feet. His hands come out from under the shirt she wears and removes each button one by one, driving Rey slowly insane with featherlight caresses of his fingers along the newly exposed skin of her torso.

 

Rey turns her head and his lips immediately latch onto hers in a sweet kiss that makes some unnamed emotion well in her chest. “You taste like heaven,” he says, cradling her jaw and drawing her upper lip into his mouth, whatever he’s doing with his tongue causing arousal to coil tightly within her. Turning in his arms, he slips the flannel from her shoulders, mouthing words like sweetheart, honey, and sugar against her lips as he consumes her with his kiss.

 

“You didn’t answer me,” Rey pants out, shivering when his fingers run along the ridges of her spine. Blinking her eyes open, she takes in his features — only to find him staring down at her, mouth petulant as he studies her, his expression illustrating an internal battle inside.

 

“What are you afraid of?” She asks, fingers squeezing his bicep, hoping to offer some reassurance.

 

Ben works his jaw, his eyes burning as he considers his words. “You’re not going to disappear, are you?”

 

Suddenly overcome, her vision blurs, eyes stinging as she all but jumps him, climbing up his body until she can mold her lips to his, hoping to convey what she feels for him in her kiss. _I won’t leave you._ A groan rumbles from his throat as she wraps her legs around him, whimpering when she feels him through the layers of fabric between them.

 

They’re moving, her bare back is now pushed up against the cabin wall, her panties sliding down her legs. Her vision is then all _Ben_ before his lips are on hers again, his stubble scraping against her chin and his hands _everywhere_ ― on her waist, on her breasts, gripping her arms. His lips are quick to follow, drawing a map on her body with soft kisses and licks as he sinks to his knees before her, the pale moonlight of the morning streaming through the cabin window.

 

― ❄ ―

 

**_Christmas morning_ **

 

The thing about traditions is that they are timeless. Old and new ideas that take shape, become something more. Something meant to be repeated. To withstand. To be cherished and coveted.

 

 _This,_ Rey thinks _—_ as Ben kisses his way up her bare thighs — is meant to be just that. A tradition. An experience meant to be cherished and coveted; and even more importantly — repeated.

 

“You’re going to kill me,” she manages to say, causing him to perk up from between her legs, his gaze warm yet primal and his dark, wavy hair hanging around his face.

 

“Funny, I thought the same thing,” he says languidly, massive body sinking back down between her thighs to lay flat on the bed, “when you first showed up here in the snow out of nowhere,” he places a gentle kiss against her clit, “you’re ferocious when you’re angry.” He swirls his tongue in a way that makes her toes curl. “You took my breath away.”

 

A moan erupts from her chest when his tongue sinks into her, and before she knows it he withdraws again to lift his gaze to her, and the look in his eyes makes Rey recall his words from earlier in the morning when their gazes met, as he kneeled before her, driving her wild with lis lips, teeth, and tongue up against the wall ― _I think I could love you._

 

“Ben,” she says, voice shaking. They must paint quite the picture― she, entirely naked, this giant of a man, still fully clothed, looking completely at home between her thighs.

 

“ _Mmm_ , Rey,” he says, her name on his lips making her cunt clench, “will you sit on my face?”

 

A whimper escapes her throat, legs shaking over his shoulders at the idea. “ _God_ , yes,” she responds, “but...on one condition.”

 

He pulls back, raising up on his knees and towering over her even like this. “Anything.”

 

Her nerves are nothing in comparison to her curiosity, so she sits up― tugging at the bottom of his shirt until he gets the hint and yanks it up and off, dark hair falling around his face. She lets her eyes take him in, dragging her gaze across the span of his chest and down to his stomach ― immediately wanting to feel his skin beneath her lips and teeth.

 

“Everything,” she orders, eyes flitting down to the bulge in his sweatpants. “Off.”

 

Ben obeys without a word, stepping off the bed and tugging down his sweats and briefs in one go, leaving his erection hanging heavily between his legs. Rey’s eyes widen, and she swallows deeply in anticipation, her sex aching emptily between her legs at the sight.

 

“On the bed,” she says, pleased when he immediately obeys without question, his eyes never leaving her face.

 

Rey has something particular in mind, but she has never done it, and hopes she doesn’t make a fool of herself. She’s kneeling on the bed next to him now, and instead of straddling him, she maneuvers until her knees are framing his face, his breath on her cunt inciting arousal to stir low in her belly. When she bends at the waist, body draping over his, she is immediately met with an eyeful of his cock and the sensation of his hands yanking her down onto his awaiting mouth.

 

It’s insane, how good this feels, his lips sucking at her clit perfectly at this angle as she stares at his rigid erection. It’s definitely the biggest she’s ever seen, and saliva floods her mouth as she finally takes him in her grip, her thumb and forefinger barely touching around his girth. She is rewarded with an answering groan against the weeping lips of her cunt, and wanting more from him ― she takes him in her mouth, sucking the bulbous head of his dick before bobbing her head up and down his length, being sure to use her hand where her mouth can’t reach.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he growls out, squeezing the backs of her thighs and panting against her opening as she swallows him up. She would smile if she could, but her mouth is currently full of him, the hinge of her jaw straining as she sucks him hard― swirling her tongue around his tip with every upstroke.

 

Rey can hear the huff on his exhale, and then her brain is turned to mush again when he is suddenly all over her pussy ― fingers sinking inside and lips pushing and pulling against her clit, tongue tasting and teasing and driving her to madness.

 

Rey whimpers around his cock, grinding her hips down onto his face as she remembers to make this good for him. So good that he forgets everyone who came before her. So good that he knows she will never leave him— that she could love him, even.

 

Her eyes water when she takes him deeper than before, her throat protesting around the head of his cock. A choked moan falls from his lips, the vibrations of it on the sensitive lips of her cunt causing her brain to short circuit. Rey rises up, lips coming off of him with a wet popping noise. Breathing air into her lungs and undulating her hips down onto his face, she bends down determinedly again― unbidden joy rising within her at the power she feels when he is even harder in her palm, the length of him flushed red and straining.

 

Rey feels hot all over when she takes him in her mouth again — right on the verge of coming on his face with how his fingers and mouth work her as she simultaneously takes him so deep in her throat that she gags around him.

 

In a flash of movement, she is pulled off of him and slammed on her back against the bed, body bouncing with the impact as Ben climbs on top of her, dropping kisses against her skin as he does so.

 

“I have the implant,” Rey rushes out, suddenly wanting nothing more than to feel the weight of him inside of her, driving into her, completing her. He pulls back ― forearms balancing, making her feel safe within the cage of his arms ― to look down at her.

 

“Implant?” he asks, his glistening lips turning up slightly at one corner into a slight smile.

 

“Birth control,” she explains, face beet red under his gaze. “I’m clean, too.”

 

He drops his forehead to rest it against hers and she cants her hips up ― her bare, damp nether lips brushing against the heated skin of his shaft. Rey _whines_ , she wants him so badly. He buries his face in her neck in response, muttering something about how _he’s clean too_ , an internal battle no doubt raging within him.

 

_I’d like to take my time with you._

 

That’s all well and good ― but Rey… Rey feels like she doesn’t have time. Not when they are right there at the edge, him one thrust of his hips away from sinking into her wet heat. She feels like she will cease to exist if he doesn’t make that final move. “I want you to fill me up with your cum,” she says, determined. “I want to feel it dripping down my thighs for hours afterwards.”

 

 _That does it_ , she thinks as he pulls back, looking slightly put out with her and completely taken with her all at once. “ _Christ_ , Rey,” he says, his gaze moving to look down between them as he lines himself up at her entrance. On her back and panting, stomach squeezing with fluttering anticipation, she watches his face as he sinks into her ― his hands on her waist, lifting her to meet his thrust as he bottoms out inside of her.

 

Her moan matches his as he pulls out all the way, the drag of him delicious as he sinks back in. It’s just then that the lights flicker on, flooding the room with the amber glow of several lamps throughout the space.

 

Ben really is gorgeous, slightly tanned skin stretched taught over flexing muscles as he thrusts inside of her, making her feel pinned in place with how he stretches and fills her. She wonders if that is his goal, to make her feel like this ― like she can’t ever possibly move way from him.

 

Rey will remember this fleeting thought later― when they are back in the city and the heat of the summer sun is beating down on them, the fresh water scent of Lake Michigan and sunscreen permeating through the air, her fingers laced through his as they walk Chewie along Montrose Beach― and wonder how he ever thought she could leave him.

 

It is only when she is begging him to let go that he does ― holding her in his bruising grip, her legs bent against her chest as he sets a punishing rythym. Rey is beside herself, moaning unintelligibly as he slams into a spot that makes her vision white out again and again until unbelievably, she is clenching down and around him ― her walls spasming as her orgasm crashes over her.

 

Tears leak at the corners of her eyes when she cracks them open, determined to watch him as he falls apart. It’s equally erotic as it is breathtaking, how she can feel the pulse of him within her as he spills inside of her, the look on his face an image she will never forget.

 

Ben’s eyes are a storm when they finally open and land on her again, lips drawn and forehead pensive. For a few moments, they just stare at each other as they catch their breath.

 

Pure affection suddenly wells inside of her, her face breaking into a grin which quickly tumbles into laughter. Ben’s lips twitch, and she thinks she sees the flash of a smirk before he is kissing her sweetly as he pulls out of her ― tugging her into his arms so that she is sprawled on top of him.

 

“Merry Christmas,” she says, thanking the universe for putting Ben Solo in this cabin with her in the middle of Montana’s endlessly white and violet blue Rocky Mountains. He hums in response and she cards her still shaking fingers through his hair, kissing his rough chin and snuggling into his neck.

 

Rey lets her mind wander for a moment, picturing another Christmas without Ben, alone somewhere in the wilderness― she can’t bear the thought. “What are you doing at this time, next year?”

 

“That depends,” he replies, an echo of her earlier words to him when he had asked her if she was ready to receive her present.

 

“On?” she asks, lifting her hand to trace her fingertips along his eyelashes.

 

 He shifts her in his arms to look down at her. “You,” he says, making her heart squeeze in her chest.

 

 _More traditions, then._ “I’ve heard great things about Mount Rainier― _oh,_ and I’ve always wanted to go to Alaska. We could go somewhere warmer though, it might be nice to lay in the sun for a change. The volcanoes in Hawaii are _insane_. What do you think?”

 

When she pulls back to get a better look at his expression, he surges up to kiss her, and she swears she feels him smile against her lips.

 

-end-

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **other songs i listened to while writing this:**
> 
> take care (beach house cover) - keaton henson
> 
> if i go, i’m going - gregory alan isakov 
> 
> joy - sleeping at last
> 
> i got a name - jim croce
> 
> time in a bottle - jim croce 
> 
> promise - ben howard
> 
> annie's song - john denver 
> 
> shrike - hozier
> 
> cherry wine - hozier
> 
> silver springs - fleetwood mac
> 
> storms - fleetwood mac
> 
>   
> thank you so much for all of the kudos & comments either here or over on twitter, this has been so fun to write.
> 
> here is the link to sunni's [gofundme](https://www.gofundme.com/trixieendoflife)\-- do donate if you can.


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